Match Review: Jeff Hardy vs. Abyss, Full Metal Mayhem (TNA - February 13, 2005)

 

have this funny jeff hardy image because what the fuck would i put here?

This match was suggested to me after I asked snowboiiii on his Twitch stream today what match I should review for here, and he grabbed his recommended matches list, asked his chat to pick a random number, and picked a match from that which was actually available to watch on YouTube. That being Jeff Hardy vs. Abyss in a Full Metal Mayhem match from TNA's Against All Odds 2005. Now, I have no real idea why I chose to do this, but I did. So that's what you're getting.

For those unaware this is the second match in a series of bouts Hardy and Abyss would have from late 2004 all the way to Bound For Glory 2005, which also featured Rhino and Sabu in it for whatever reason that I am seriously forgetting right now. Yes, they'd go on to have matches in the 2010s but I've never watched those matches before so I'm personally not counting them. I did not watch any build up to this so I'm willing to admit that there's probably a lot that I'm missing out on, but the commentators explained that Abyss made his return to TNA after some period of absence, attacked Jeff Hardy and.... we have this match now! But you see, gracious emmo blog viewer, the real point of confusion comes with the added stipulation by authority figure (I forgot what the fuck his actual title was even though they said it) Dusty Rhodes. The match is not just a Full Metal Mayhem match (basically TNA's equivalent to a TLC for those who have never seen TNA before), but is also a #1 contenders match where the winner will face NWA World Heavyweight Champion (JeffJarrettLOL) on a future episode of Impact, but ALSO alongside the #1 contendership contract there is... an empty envelope! The wrestlers have to basically guess which envelope has the contract and which envelope has nothing in it.

Look. I'm not gonna say that the way that TNA will change or add a stipulation in a gimmick match is HORRIBLE, like how I vaguely remember a lot of the talk about TNA and their gimmick matches were from at least a solid core of wrestling YouTubers back then (no disrespect to any of them, ofc) because I do find certain instances of that like, say, The King of The Mountain match to be pretty enjoyable honestly. But I would be lying to myself if I didn't say that I heard this information be delivered to my ears by the commentators and actively paused my watching of this match to stop and think about who thought it'd be a necessary addition to the match and why. Another side note, I absolutely fucking love Abyss' presentation here. The entrance, the theme, the big ass chain he carries with him. It's all insanely good and tells me he is definitely gonna be a future subject on my Wrestlers I Like series. Jeff Hardy's theme here is... a TNA Jeff Hardy theme. It exists. Definitely nowhere as good as Another Me, but still.

Now, if you want my HONEST opinion on the actual match itself?
I don't hate it... but I'm also not sure if I really like it.
It would be simply untrue to call this match bad because there are some really good and nasty looking spots in there like Jeff's Poetry In Motion off a chair very early on, the ladder catapult spot where Jeff springs off the top turnbuckle and lands on one of the ladders to send the other end of it flying into Abyss' face. Hell, I even found enjoyment out of BOTH times that Abyss sent Jeff flying into a stack of tables, even if the second one was WAY more scuffed than the first one, let's be real. However, in general the match just felt... slow. They spend a lot of time setting up tables, setting up ladders, brawling on the outside... there's a part during the match after the first big Jeff Hardy Table Bump™ where, after slamming Jeff's face into the entrance way, instead of grabbing a ladder and actually trying to WIN the match, Abyss chooses to grab a table and set it up on the entrance way. Genuinely, I was internally fucking SCREAMING at my screen like "GET A LADDER!!! YOU HAVE ENOUGH OF AN OPPORTUNITY TO WIN!!!" Real shit, nobody in the match actually tries to use one of the ladders to attempt to grab the envelopes for like... I wanna say 14 minutes out of a nearly 16 minute match? Which is insanely goofy to me. I'm not sure if it's just a me thing but it always bugs me when a ladder match has barely any attempt to grab the item that's being held up. Anyways, obviously, the table was set up for a big Jeff Hardy stage dive that in terms of all the big Jeff Hardy dives that I've seen in my life was... just kinda middling to me? I think it was mostly the height of the dive which... wasn't very far even if the cameras and commentators really tried to make you think that it was a big deal. Like, I dunno, I suppose AT THE TIME it was a big deal because I'd imagine Jeff had not done anything like this in TNA yet, but looking back at this in nearly 2025 after already seeing that big iconic Bound For Glory 2005 dive off the stage it didn't give me the reaction that it was supposed to give. That's kind of the big thing with this, if you have not seen any of their other work then I think it would be understandable to say this match was good, but as someone who has seen as such.... I just think about how much I could be watching those other, BETTER matches right now. It's the room temperature water of Jeff Hardy and Abyss matches. Not bad, but you could have literally anything else at this current moment. But hell, I can give the match credit, I'd rate it over probably anything that 2024 TNA Jeff Hardy has done. Last little note is that the post match part where Jeff just gets extremely angry at the stack of tables he went through is incredibly fucking funny and everybody on the planet should see this.

match rating:
★★★.15

Wrestlers I Love: Mad Dog Connelly

(photo taken from Mad Dog's Twitter, unsure of who took it. please dm me and i will properly credit if needed.)

Wanted to start this off real quick apologies to my cumulative seven fans for the lack of actual writing that has been seen in the past couple of months, easiest explanation that I can give is that I've been dealing with a combination of Being Super Fucking Busy™ and also my general mental health being super erratic for reasons that i'm honestly not gonna get into here. Anyways, I wanted to come back to blogging with something of a start to a potential hybrid-blog-and-Youtube content series, which i'm currently dubbing the very simple title of "Wrestlers I Like", an idea that was slightly inspired by both Tom Green's "Why They Rule" series where he goes over why certain wrestlers are really good in the span of 60 seconds and also in a way that is hard for me to explain at the moment, my good friend Hiten Mitsuru's Yap Session videos where she talks about numerous different things usually having to do with art or video games, you should check them out if you like content about that type of stuff. She's really cool.
I'll probably explain how I actually wanna RUN this series of content at a later date, but to put it simply on how this will work: I'm basically going to rant and rave about wrestlers that I really really like. I'll talk about how I found out about them, how good I think they are, along with some blurbs about my favorite matches from them because I am absolutely super fucking autistic about professional wrestling and if you don't like it... well, why are you reading a wrestling blog anyways?

So I figured the best way to start off a series like this is to talk about a wrestler who, genuinely, is somebody I could consider as THE wrestler of the year. If not at the very least in the conversation of top 3.... Mad Dog Connelly.

I got into Connelly, funnily enough, this year, after watching his dog collar match against Demus at ACTION Wrestling's DEAN~!! event during WrestleMania 40 weekend all the way back in April.

I had heard about him vaguely in 2021-2023 but for whatever reason never actually bothered to check out his matches there despite him wrestling in places that I was absolutely watching around that period. Namely Saint Louis Anarchy and Paradigm Pro. Genuinely I don't think I have much of a proper explanation for not knowing about him before this match, but lemme tell you, after watching the match at DEAN~!!... I was absolutely fucking hooked on Mad Dog. Same thing with Demus, somebody who I also need to do a "Wrestlers I Like" entry on at this point, don't you fucking worry your soul.

Now, to answer the question: Why do I love Mad Dog Connelly?
It's very simple.
He's one of those wrestlers whose matches you watch and afterwards go "hell yeah."

Let's be honest. There's a demographic in modern wrestling of guys such as Lee Moriarty, Alex Shelley, Jon Gresham, hell even possibly Danielson and many others that I could easily spout off as examples who give a "cleaned up", smooth and crisp presentation of wrestling in their matches, with Mad Dog you don't get... well, any of that. He's not smooth, cleaned up, or crisp. BUT THAT'S WHAT MAKES HIM SO UNBELIEVABLY FUCKING AWESOME. His work is some of the grimiest, grossest, absolutely mauled in filth shit in North American wrestling today. Pretty much all of his matches have some kind of spot where he's trying to murder his opponent in some form or fashion, every time I go into each one expecting an absolute spectacle and they deliver to the upmost degree. The aforementioned dog collar match with Demus, his series of matches with Steve Manders, hell, even his 2022 no disqualification bout with Jake Lander from ZERO1 USA are some of examples of the closest that you could possibly get to a modern recreation of the old school "southern-style" brawls of the 1980's. It's incredibly difficult to compare Mad Dog to literally ANYBODY else that's active nowadays because the style that he presents is in a completely different universe from basically anybody else in the United States. Literally, I fucking dare somebody to find any wrestler in the US that's on the level that Connelly has been on for the past while. You can't. Literally anybody who comes close to that would be working on the Mexican independent scene right now, one of the reasons why ACTION booking Demus/Mad Dog back during WrestleMania weekend was such a stroke of genius but that's something I'll have to fully elaborate on when (not if) I end up writing about that match in specific. In a lot of ways what makes Mad Dog compelling is definitely the same thing that made dudes like Buzz Sawyer, Atsushi Onita, Necro Butcher compelling in the 80s, 90s, and 2000s. Another thing that I like about his matches is that they all last the right amount of time. Most likely due to the chaotic nature of his matches, but i've not watched through one of them thinking "man, they really need to wrap this up" or "y'know I wish this lasted longer..." Personally, if you can hit that peak, ESPECIALLY when it comes to modern wrestling where.. admittedly there's a lot of matches that go on for longer than they realistically should, you are one of my favorites. Not to mention his promos are also amazing. There's way too many that I could pull up as examples so if you really need to go scroll his Twitter and you'll be bound to find some but with each promo I watch it feels like I'm witnessing a man grow more and more inhuman and insane as each second passes. They easily captivate me and feed into the notion that when I go into his matches I'm going to expect an absolute car crash spectacle which, again, COMPLETELY deliver each and every time. He's a fucking total package. Expect me to make match edits of him when I actually have the time and ideas for songs to match up with.

To cut things short.
Do yourself a favor today. Sit down, watch one of the many Mad Dog Connelly matches on YouTube (or IWTV, if you have that), have fun, and....
Live Your Truth.

( P.S: SOMEBODY out there in the world better book Mad Dog in the fucking Zona 23 Junkyard. I would actually, genuinely pay money to see footage of it. )

personal quick recommends list:

• vs. Jake Lander | ZERO1 (04/30/22)
• vs. Gary Jay | NWP (05/07/22)
• vs. Eric Dillinger vs. Nate Matthews | NWP (01/14/23)
• vs. Jordan | Timebomb Pro (08/10/23)
• vs. The Luminary | ZERO1 USA (08/19/23)
• vs. Matthew Justice | Paradigm (11/03/23)
• vs. 1 Called Manders | Saint Louis Anarchy (01//26/24)
• vs. Demus | ACTION (04/04/24)
• vs. 1 Called Manders | Saint Louis Anarchy (07/26/24)
• vs. Erron Wade | Scenic City Invitational (09/07/24)

*matches that i've watched of his that should all mostly be available on YouTube currently.